COME TO FABULOUS WILLIAMSBURG, VA!!!

Those of you new to the site, or those of you too lazy to click on anything here (@ssholes!!), may not have read my award winning article about multi-level marketing/pyramid schemes/pain-in-the-arse companies. In that article, i pretty much dismantle the whole MLM process and warn you not to be duped by their techniques.

I should practice what I preach.

This article may be a little lengthy but bare with me.

I am a suspicious person by nature, so anytime my phone rings, I am checking callerID. If I dont recognize the #, the person on the other end better be prepared to get interrogated to the 12th power.

Last Monday night, around 9:45, as I am preparing to settle down for my nightly slumber, the phone rings. I have a rule, I dont call anyone after 9pm. Why? Well 2 reasons. (1)If I havent told you something by 9pm, then it can wait until tomorrow and (2)I dont want to hear from anyone after 9pm (unless its a family emergency). Thats just how I feel.

Imagine my surprise when I see a Williamsburg, VA # pop up. Immediately I scan my mental Rolodex trying to think who would be calling from there. I come up blank. The convo went something like this:

HAB: Who dis?

Caller: My name is (who cares) and I am looking for Mrs. Balogger

HAB: For what?

Caller: Its of a business nature

HAB: Well this is her husband. How can I help you.

Caller: We would really prefer to speak to her.

HAB: Well if you cant tell me who you are and why you are calling, then you dont need to speak to her (i know i can be an ass sometimes)

Caller: I'm sorry, Sir, I didnt realize you were her husband

HAB: And I didnt realize you werent paying attention

Caller: Uh...yes sir. Your wife entered a drawing to win a free vacation and her name was selected as winner to a 3day/2night stay in Williamsburg, VA. In exchange for your accommodation, we only ask that you attend a 90min presentation where we explain the benefits of vacation ownership

HAB: Timeshare?!?!?

Caller: We prefer to call it vacation ownership

HAB: Whatever makes you happy

Caller: Uh...right. In order to secure your reservation, we will need a $75 deposit, which will be refunded to you at the completion of the presentation, along with an additional $125 to offset the cost of gas. You must take the tour within the next 6 weeks. When can we schedule you?

HAB: I cant get away for 3days in the next 6 weeks.

Caller: Well, you can come up on any Saturday or Sunday and just attend the presentation. Afterwards, we will give you a voucher to comeback at anytime within a year to use your 3day/2night stay and we will still give you the $200 for attending the presentation.

HAB: Well, Im not doing anything on Saturday. We will drive up then.

Caller: Great. Just remember that after we complete this transaction, you must attend or you will lose your deposit.

HAB: I'll be there dammit!!!

So that evening, Mrs. Balogger and I start planning a day trip to fabulous Williamsburg, VA. It just so happens that the weather was on while we were discussing it. Guess what I forgot about?

HURRICANE HANNA...

and she was scheduled to make her debut Saturday morning. Her projected path was basically taking the same route we would be taking to Virginia...at the same time!!!

The next day I call those "vacation experts" back to tell them "I AINT DRIVING IN A HURRICANE FOR YOUR *BLEEP* TIMESHARE". They then told me that was fine, but I wasnt getting my deposit back.

Needless to say, we went.

We left a day early and decided to stay in a hotel in the area.

The next day we go to the "Williamsburg Plantation Welcome Center" for our presentation. This is where the "tour" began. This was no typical timeshare presentation. It was actually kinda cool. Our salesman puts us in his 94 Honda Civic and takes us on a tour of Williamsburg, VA and shows us the different sites. All the colonial BS and malls and places to eat. Basically the same shit I saw 2hours before going to the "Williamsburg Plantation Welcome Center". Finally, we end up at the resort itself (Pictured above). For those of you who have been on a timeshare presentation before, you already know that you normally stay there onsite and listen to the BS as you ride around the property.

Not this one.

Our 90min "tour" ended about 150min after it began. So there we are at the Williamsburg Plantation (I cant believe they still use that word in modern America) in a conference room with other about 30 other gullible couples like the Baloggers.

Here is where the sales part kicks:

Our Driver/Salesman tells us that we can own all that we saw for around $30k. I say NO. Well, he understood that was too high, but if we were to purchase today he would drop that down to $20k, I say NO.

I will spare you further details of the "no pressure sales". Basically, I got them to go from $4,000 down payment with $800/mo payments all the way to nothing down and $168/mo payments.....

AND I STILL SAID NO!!!!

When I make up my mind I dont want something, aside from giving it to me for free, I wont take it. I'm just stubborn like that. While I am sure that having that timeshare would be wonderful, I have seen the headaches associated with it. I just dont want it right now.

And besides, the guy who kept pressuring me to buy looked something like this:

And I cant give my money to someone like that.

So after I tell them no for the 1,000th time, we get back in the Civic and head back to the Welcome Center. Needless to say, the drive back was a lot less quiet than the drive to the resort. I felt kinda bad for not taking them up on the offer, but even after we got back, they brought in one more guy to offer us a "special deal"..Nothing down $84/month. And after all that, I said....

NO

That just pissed me off even more.

They f'ed up my entire day. What was supposed to only be 90min ended up being a 5, yes F-I-V-E, hours of torture.

But in all actuality, I expected it. This is isnt my first experience with timeshare. I actually have gone on several. Maybe one day, I will tell you guys about my honeymoon.

If you are contemplating going on one, make your mind before you even get there if you actually want it or not. If you do, then play hard to get until they get to a price you can afford...then make them go lower. I learned on this trip, that if they truly want you to buy, they go much much lower than the initial offering. If you dont want it, then stick to your guns, as I did. It will be tough and they will try to make you feel like the scum of the earth for not recognizing the value in what they are offering, but at the end of the day, you are the one left paying for it. And when the day comes (and it will) that you dont care to use your timeshare anymore, you will catch hell trying to get rid of it.

Maybe I am wrong. Lets ask Lil' Gary

Oh well...

*Greetings to any first time visitors. Be sure to check out my other articles, too. Best place to start is over there on the right under "My Favorite Posts". Thats the best of the best