Everybody has a weakness.

No matter how big and bad or tough you think you are, we all have that one element of life that will break us down.

For some it may be being in confined spaces.

Or being in high places

Or being stuck on a bridge

Maybe Adam's Apples

For me its flying insects.


{Author's note: I really and truly almost passed out trying to insert this picture. Lord help me!}

Why am i discussing this today?

Well, on my way to the restroom, i hear a bumping/buzzing sound. That only means one thing. There is a winged-beast bumping into something.

My eyes scan my surrounding looking for the culprit. All of a sudden, THERE IT IS!!! A HUGE horsefly bumping into the fluorescent lights above. I know he saw me. He drops down and starts after me. I could hear him calling me by name.

I do my best impression of G.I.Joe and begin low-crawlin' out the door. I felt like a child, but the whole time, i didnt give sh!t. I was getting away from that damn thing.

That whole episode made me realize that I have a problem.

I am scared of flying insects.

There.

I said it.

Bees, Wasps, hornets, yellow-jackets. basically anything thats flies and stings will find me seeking shelter from it.

Mrs. Balogger is always giving me a hard time about it too, which just makes me feel terrific. Nothing is worse than your spouse taunting you over your phobias. Kinda makes you want to poke them eye with a rusty nail.

I have always been afraid of flying insects. Those things are mean. And bold. How can something that small have an attitude?

And then you have the folks that say, if you dont bother them they wont bother you.

KISS MY A$$

How do we know the mentality of an insect?

How do we know whether that insect has had a bad day or not. he may have just gotten laid off from the hive and is seeking revenge. He may have found out his insect-wife is pregnant with 10,000 larvae and he just started working at McSwarm's

He may just be a bully and want to torment the human race for years of persecution.

I will never forget it. One Sunday morning, i am doing some "maintenance" on my pc at home. My son comes up to me and says "Daddy, there is a fly downstairs and he keeps bothering me"

So i blow it off because really...who cares about a fly.

10 minutes go by and my son comes back, "daddy, the fly is still bothering me"

Reluctantly, i head downstairs. I walked into the living room where my son was watching TV and then, I saw it.

5 WASPS circling around a crack in the door of my fireplace.

I never fought so hard to remain conscience.

My fight or flight instinct kicked in. I evacuated everyone from the room and got the Raid. I think i emptied the can in that room. The whole while, my "better half" looked at me with this smirk on her face and shook her head. Have you ever felt like testing the effects of bug spray on a human? I have.

So, now you know. If you ever want to see me act like a little b!tch, tell me you see a bee on my head. But be prepared to get stabbed once i wake up....


HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM THE HOT AIR BALOGGER!!!!