Granddad grabs wrong kid

Today is obviously "Lecture the Parents" Day

Boy, i tell ya. This one take the cake.

Apparently the teachers in Jacksonville, FL are giving kids away on a first come, first serve basis.

And the kids there arent that bright either.

And somebody needs to be on the lookout for 70-year old men with kids on the handlebars.

I know what you are thinking.

"What the hell is he talking about??"

In case you didnt read the link to the story, here is the nuts and berries of it.

Grandpa was sent to Long Branch Elem to pick up his 4 year old grandson. I guess the escalating price of gas was the motivation behind him using his Schwinn to retrieve the little tike.

At LBE, the teachers had the kids in the Pre-K program lined up, ready to go home at 1:30pm. Grandpa pedals up and is able to coax young Zacari on to the handle bars and then proceeds to ride off into the sunset.

It wasnt until he rolls up back at the crib that Grandma says "Who dat and where is my grandbaby???"

"Uh oh"

He then places Zacari back on the handle bars and pedals back to the LBE.

In the meantime, back at LBE, all hell is breaking loose. Zacari's aunt, who apparently was unable to DRIVE to the school before Grandpa pedaled there is going the @#$*& off on the teachers for letting her nephew leave with a stranger.

There is a whole lot wrong with this story. Let's examine it by giving out JACKASS AWARDS!!!

The first JackAss award goes to Grandpa.

Does he not know what his own grandchild looks like? Has he ever met this child? And if there was any speculation as to whether or not he could pick this child out of a literal line-up, he should have kept his ass at the house.

The second JackAss award goes to the Teachers at LBE.

How in the hell do you release a child to a man RIDING A DAMN BICYCLE?!?!?!?! Did they stop to think how secure young Zacari would be on the handle bars of a BMX? This aint E.T. where he could sit comfortably in a basket on the front. Dude was on the handle bars!!! And where is the list of names of folks that are allowed to pickup Baby Z. Really. Do they just let anybody come and get a child. FREE BABIES!!! GET 'EM while they last!!!

Somebody needs to call Chris Hansen.

The third JackAss award is goes to Grandma

How do you let your 77 year old husband leave on a BIKE to pickup your grandchild? I am pretty sure Guiding Light or All My Chirren could have waited while you checked to make sure Ol' Otis had the necessary tools to get your grandbaby. And if there was no automobile at your disposal, catch the bus.. OR get someone else to get him.

The forth JackAss award goes to Grandpa's REAL Grandson

HEY...You should have recognized the geezer on the bike!!! And spoke up when he put your classmate on the handlebars. I mean, they were all standing in a line so he had to see the whole thing take place.

The last and, in my opinion, the most deserved JackAss award goes to:

*drum roll*

ZACARI!!!!!!!

Dammit...you KNEW that wasnt your grandaddy. You got on the bike anyways?!?!?! Did he have some candy hanging out of his pocket? Maybe a PlayStation tied on the back? How in the world do you just mosey on up to some STRANGER and say "yep I'll ride on the handle bars." This dude rides ALL THE WAY TO THIS GUYS HOUSE.....ON HANDLEBARS. My son is 4...and coincidentally in a similar Pre-K program. But i think thats where the similarities cease. First of all, he aint going no where with some one he doesnt know and Second, he definitely aint riding on handle bars.

Let me see if i can figure out how this could have happened.

*Damn near 80 year old rides up to the front of the school*

Grandpa: "I'm hear to get my grandson"

Teacher: "Well..which one is he?"

Grandpa: "Hmmmm...Maybe that one right there?"

Teacher: "OK...Zacari...Your granddad is here to take you home"

Zacari: "OK"

Grandpa: "Hop on up here young fella"

*They pedal off into the sunset*

Teacher: "How many we got left to get rid of before i can take a smoke break?"

This shit just doesnt make any sense.

...but i could be wrong