**Insert wavy, dream like music***
Year: 1981Location: Small NC townCharacters: a very young HAB, his momma, some peers and a weary Cub Scout LeaderScene1:Early 80's After School program (See Daycare)
Here we find young
HAB along with a couple other program participants. A new kid, lets refer to him as Ricky (not his real name) begins dialogue with
HABRicky: Hey,
HAB. Are you a
yankee or a rebel
HAB (thinking):
WTF???
HAB: Uh.....I
dont know
Ricky: Where were you born?
HAB: At the hospital, why
Ricky (frustrated): Where is the hospital
HAB (sounding like The
Waterboy): Momma said I was born in Raleigh, NC
Ricky: YOU ARE A REBEL!!!! JUST LIKE ME!!!
HAB (confused): A what??
Ricky: A Rebel, man. Like in the Civil War. We are rebels and we hate Yankees!!!
HAB was thoroughly confused. He had heard about the Civil War only briefly in his 4 years of
schoolin'. He was intrigued to learn more
HAB: Why am I a rebel
Ricky:
Cuz you were born in the south.
HAB: South what?
Ricky: THE SOUTH!!!!
HAB: I was born in the North.
NORTH Carolina
Ricky:
Thats still the south.
HAB: If you say so
Ricky: I got a great idea. Lets start a club and only let in guys that were born in the south, like us. We will call ourselves "Rebel Runts"
cuz we are still little fellas
HAB: YEAH!!!
So Ricky whips up some rudimentary cards from loose leaf notebook paper and comes up with something similar to this:
Yes, folks. That IS a Confederate Flag
Now, at this point in the game, all i knew about the confederate flag was based on these guys:
Friday nights at 8, it was me and the Duke Boys, Uncle Jessie, and especially DAISY!!!
My first bout of Jungle Fever!!!
Anyways, after Ricky planted the seed of thought that somehow, me and the Duke Boys had some sort of allegiance to the same entity, it was Rebel Runts fo' Life!!!
We made admission EVEN more stricter than being born in the south. You had to also live in a CERTAIN county. So even if you were born in the 'South', if you didnt live in good ol' Juuuuunsun County, you couldnt be a member
Yeah
We were hard core
Up to this point, I still had no clue about the tainted past (& present) of ol' Stars & Bars.
Imagine my delight when, on the following Saturday, at my bi-monthly CubScout meeting, or group would be going to see a live FAKE Civil War battle.
North vs. South
Union vs. Confederates
Brother vs. Brother
I would lay awake at night wondering if I could join in the fight...fighting alongside my Confederate brothers. Taking down the oppressive Union forces. Liberating the south from the tyrannical grip of Lincoln
Finally the day came. My Scout leader picked me and couple of other scouts up from home and we headed to Bentonville, NC....famous for the great Battle of Bentonville!!!
"Oooooooh, I wish I were in the land of cotton....."
Uh...
Yeah
So anyways,we get there and this place is PACKED. As the battle goes on, I am swelling with pride. My Rebel brothers are taking the battle to those Blue Coats. Canon fire, rifle blasts, screamin, Yeeeee Hawwwwww-in.....its all there. And I am caught up in the hype.
After the battle was over (I dont know, nor give a shit, who won...if you want to know, google it, dammit), we head over to the gift shop to browse through overly priced trinkets.
Thats when I saw it.
In all its majesty....
All its glory....
Sitting in a barrel with 37 other similar items, I saw THE CONFEDERATE FLAG for $7!!!
The $10 my mom gave me would soon vacate my pocket. As I picked it up, my Scout Leader, for some unknown reason tried to convince me to buy an American flag.
WTF?!?!?!
Im a REBEL RUNT, BEOTCH!!!!
I didnt really say that, but that how I felt.
How dare he try to dissuade me from supporting my brothers in arms. My Confederate brethren would KNOW that I, HotAirBalogger, was a PROUD supporter of their cause. No longer would i sit idly by while the boot of the Union army was on the backs of weary Confederates. They will know, dammit
THEY WILL KNOW!!!!
After I PROUDLY paid for my flag, I felt like all eyes were on me. The bitch behind the counter looked strangely at my purchase. Likely from the North.
The sounds of beating drums began to float into the gift shop. The word 'parade' started to float around. I ran to the door to see what was going on.
THE TROOPS WERE MARCHING BY!!!!
YES!!!!!
This was it. This is what I had been waiting for. Now the would all see my dedication to the cause. I ran out the door...flag in hand
(I could have sworn I heard my Scout Leader yelling my name and running after me)
I stood along the road with the rest of the revelers. I hoisted my flag to the highest point my chubby little arm could reach.
And I yelled
Screamed
Shouted
Cheered
It was all for MY Confederate army!!!
I waved my flag back and forth. I was delirious with excitement.
But...
I still had that nagging feeling that people were staring at me. As if they had spotted a unicorn, a leprechaun, or a mystic relic, never before seen. It was as though no one was watching the parade, but instead, were looking at me!
They must have been awe-struck by the dedication of such a young lad to the Confederate cause.
That had to be it.
I felt even more proud.
This would be a day they would NEVER forget.
I knew that when I returned to school, EVERYONE would want to be a REBEL RUNT!!!
When I got home, I jumped out of my Scout Leader's car...flag in hand. My mother came out to greet us but must have bitten her tongue as I ran by, because I saw her mouth drop. I wasnt gonna concern myself with it right now. I had to find the perfect place for my flag.
I heard elevated voices coming from outside.
I looked out the window and I saw a look of confusion on my mother's face. My Scout Leader, head hung low, was saying something like "We tried, Mama Balogger. He said he had to have it"
She wasnt angry, but instead she had the same look of bafflement on her face, just like everyone else.
Did I miss something?
Was it me?
No.....I now knew what captivated the souls of all!!!
It was the flag!!!
They were mesmerized by the awesome-ness of the Stars & Bars. It produced a trance like state. My mother was obviously not prepared to behold its awesome-ness. My Scout Leader, by being in its presences for so long, could only hang his head...in reverence to its glory.
YES
They would respect the flag
They would honor the flag
They would come to my room to pay homage to the flag.
I made up my mind that I would make it my life's journey to carry this flag...FOREVER.
A few weeks later, my cousin came over. I couldnt wait to see his reaction to MAJESTIC FLAG of WONDER.
When he walked in, he had the same reaction as my mother.
Eyes wide open
Mouth dropped
Speechless
Yes, i thought. All those who enter, must bow.
KNEEL BEFORE ME!!!!
But his speechless-ness did not last as long as others. Instead he grabbed the flag and tried to rip it.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!
We began to scuffle. I asked him why was he trying to destroy the glorious Stars & Bars. It was then that he said this
"THAT FLAG IS FOR THE KLAN!!!!"
"who are they??"
"They hate us"
I was crushed.
Devastated.
All of my hopes and dreams went up in flames.
I had lived a lie.
I had been decieved.
I made up my mind to never again be misled.
No more Duke Boys
No more "Im from the south"
No more....REBEL RUNT
The south truly had fallen.
For those of you who havent put 2 & 2 together, I am very much an African American. The majority of us frown upon the Confederate flag as well as anyone who proudly displays it.
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