The Ghosts from Blogging Past......

Is anyone still around?


I am getting the itch to start complaining about irrelevant stuff again, but i dont want to preach to an empty room


TESTING 1 2 3

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On Hiatus


Sorry folks but all good things come to an end.

The 9-5 has me tied up a contstant basis. Thats why you havent seen a new post here for months. Hadnt had time to do anything.

With that said, I had to let you know that its been real. If i ever hit the lottery or a long lost relative breaks me off, I will be back.

Please feel free to look at some of my old posts. Guaranteed laughs.


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Greetings to any first time visitors. Be sure to check out my other articles, too. Best place to start is over there on the right under "My Favorite Posts". Thats the best of the best

Tales from the Helpdesk - Say What!?!?!




(Not me)

I spend my day light hours providing excellent technical support to Physician's offices, attorneys, ans small companies that are frugal enough to outsource their Information Technology needs. More often than not, may day consists of password resets, application issues,etc. But every now and then, I get a real genius on the line. Therefore I bring to you:



Tales from the Helpdesk

Today's tale is not so much as what I HEARD, but rather what I SAW while providing superior technical support.


See if you can spot what wrong with this picture:




*shaking head*






No comment, just






*shaking head*







It looks like this may be a regular occurring theme







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Tales from the Helpdesk - What Kind of Drawing?




(Not me)





I spend my day light hours providing excellent technical support to Physician's offices, attorneys, ans small companies that are frugal enough to outsource their Information Technology needs. More often than not, may day consists of password resets, application issues,etc. But every now and then, I get a real genius on the line. Therefore I bring to you:



Tales from the Helpdesk



Today's tale is not so much as what I HEARD, but rather what I SAW while providing superior technical support.




See if you can spot what wrong with this picture:




ERECTION DRAWINGS!!!


At first thought, you might think this was some weird request for pRon. But nooooo, this is email comes from a construction company.


I think they should try to reword their email subject.


They are liable to get that thing caught in a spam filter.


And who would want a drawing of that????


This pic get the first ever Tyrone Biggums "WHAT IN THE NAME OF CRACK-SMOKE WERE YOU THINKING?" award



****WINTCSWYT Award Winner***



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Greetings to any first time visitors. Be sure to check out my other articles, too. Best place to start is over there on the right under "My Favorite Posts". Thats the best of the best

Rebel Runts: A Tale of Youthful Iggnance

**Insert wavy, dream like music***

Year: 1981
Location: Small NC town
Characters: a very young HAB, his momma, some peers and a weary Cub Scout Leader

Scene1:
Early 80's After School program (See Daycare)

Here we find young HAB along with a couple other program participants. A new kid, lets refer to him as Ricky (not his real name) begins dialogue with HAB

Ricky: Hey, HAB. Are you a yankee or a rebel

HAB (thinking): WTF???

HAB: Uh.....I dont know

Ricky: Where were you born?

HAB: At the hospital, why

Ricky (frustrated): Where is the hospital

HAB (sounding like The Waterboy): Momma said I was born in Raleigh, NC

Ricky: YOU ARE A REBEL!!!! JUST LIKE ME!!!

HAB (confused): A what??

Ricky: A Rebel, man. Like in the Civil War. We are rebels and we hate Yankees!!!


HAB was thoroughly confused. He had heard about the Civil War only briefly in his 4 years of schoolin'. He was intrigued to learn more


HAB: Why am I a rebel

Ricky: Cuz you were born in the south.

HAB: South what?

Ricky: THE SOUTH!!!!

HAB: I was born in the North. NORTH Carolina

Ricky: Thats still the south.

HAB: If you say so

Ricky: I got a great idea. Lets start a club and only let in guys that were born in the south, like us. We will call ourselves "Rebel Runts" cuz we are still little fellas

HAB: YEAH!!!

So Ricky whips up some rudimentary cards from loose leaf notebook paper and comes up with something similar to this:

Yes, folks. That IS a Confederate Flag

Now, at this point in the game, all i knew about the confederate flag was based on these guys:



Friday nights at 8, it was me and the Duke Boys, Uncle Jessie, and especially DAISY!!!




My first bout of Jungle Fever!!!

Anyways, after Ricky planted the seed of thought that somehow, me and the Duke Boys had some sort of allegiance to the same entity, it was Rebel Runts fo' Life!!!

We made admission EVEN more stricter than being born in the south. You had to also live in a CERTAIN county. So even if you were born in the 'South', if you didnt live in good ol' Juuuuunsun County, you couldnt be a member

Yeah

We were hard core

Up to this point, I still had no clue about the tainted past (& present) of ol' Stars & Bars.

Imagine my delight when, on the following Saturday, at my bi-monthly CubScout meeting, or group would be going to see a live FAKE Civil War battle.

North vs. South

Union vs. Confederates

Brother vs. Brother

I would lay awake at night wondering if I could join in the fight...fighting alongside my Confederate brothers. Taking down the oppressive Union forces. Liberating the south from the tyrannical grip of Lincoln

Finally the day came. My Scout leader picked me and couple of other scouts up from home and we headed to Bentonville, NC....famous for the great Battle of Bentonville!!!

"Oooooooh, I wish I were in the land of cotton....."

Uh...

Yeah

So anyways,we get there and this place is PACKED. As the battle goes on, I am swelling with pride. My Rebel brothers are taking the battle to those Blue Coats. Canon fire, rifle blasts, screamin, Yeeeee Hawwwwww-in.....its all there. And I am caught up in the hype.

After the battle was over (I dont know, nor give a shit, who won...if you want to know, google it, dammit), we head over to the gift shop to browse through overly priced trinkets.

Thats when I saw it.

In all its majesty....

All its glory....

Sitting in a barrel with 37 other similar items, I saw THE CONFEDERATE FLAG for $7!!!

The $10 my mom gave me would soon vacate my pocket. As I picked it up, my Scout Leader, for some unknown reason tried to convince me to buy an American flag.

WTF?!?!?!

Im a REBEL RUNT, BEOTCH!!!!

I didnt really say that, but that how I felt.

How dare he try to dissuade me from supporting my brothers in arms. My Confederate brethren would KNOW that I, HotAirBalogger, was a PROUD supporter of their cause. No longer would i sit idly by while the boot of the Union army was on the backs of weary Confederates. They will know, dammit

THEY WILL KNOW!!!!

After I PROUDLY paid for my flag, I felt like all eyes were on me. The bitch behind the counter looked strangely at my purchase. Likely from the North.

The sounds of beating drums began to float into the gift shop. The word 'parade' started to float around. I ran to the door to see what was going on.

THE TROOPS WERE MARCHING BY!!!!

YES!!!!!

This was it. This is what I had been waiting for. Now the would all see my dedication to the cause. I ran out the door...flag in hand

(I could have sworn I heard my Scout Leader yelling my name and running after me)

I stood along the road with the rest of the revelers. I hoisted my flag to the highest point my chubby little arm could reach.

And I yelled

Screamed

Shouted

Cheered

It was all for MY Confederate army!!!

I waved my flag back and forth. I was delirious with excitement.

But...

I still had that nagging feeling that people were staring at me. As if they had spotted a unicorn, a leprechaun, or a mystic relic, never before seen. It was as though no one was watching the parade, but instead, were looking at me!

They must have been awe-struck by the dedication of such a young lad to the Confederate cause.

That had to be it.

I felt even more proud.

This would be a day they would NEVER forget.

I knew that when I returned to school, EVERYONE would want to be a REBEL RUNT!!!

When I got home, I jumped out of my Scout Leader's car...flag in hand. My mother came out to greet us but must have bitten her tongue as I ran by, because I saw her mouth drop. I wasnt gonna concern myself with it right now. I had to find the perfect place for my flag.

I heard elevated voices coming from outside.

I looked out the window and I saw a look of confusion on my mother's face. My Scout Leader, head hung low, was saying something like "We tried, Mama Balogger. He said he had to have it"

She wasnt angry, but instead she had the same look of bafflement on her face, just like everyone else.

Did I miss something?

Was it me?

No.....I now knew what captivated the souls of all!!!

It was the flag!!!

They were mesmerized by the awesome-ness of the Stars & Bars. It produced a trance like state. My mother was obviously not prepared to behold its awesome-ness. My Scout Leader, by being in its presences for so long, could only hang his head...in reverence to its glory.

YES

They would respect the flag

They would honor the flag

They would come to my room to pay homage to the flag.

I made up my mind that I would make it my life's journey to carry this flag...FOREVER.

A few weeks later, my cousin came over. I couldnt wait to see his reaction to MAJESTIC FLAG of WONDER.

When he walked in, he had the same reaction as my mother.

Eyes wide open

Mouth dropped

Speechless

Yes, i thought. All those who enter, must bow.

KNEEL BEFORE ME!!!!

But his speechless-ness did not last as long as others. Instead he grabbed the flag and tried to rip it.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

We began to scuffle. I asked him why was he trying to destroy the glorious Stars & Bars. It was then that he said this

"THAT FLAG IS FOR THE KLAN!!!!"

"who are they??"

"They hate us"
I was crushed.

Devastated.

All of my hopes and dreams went up in flames.

I had lived a lie.

I had been decieved.

I made up my mind to never again be misled.

No more Duke Boys

No more "Im from the south"

No more....REBEL RUNT

The south truly had fallen.

For those of you who havent put 2 & 2 together, I am very much an African American. The majority of us frown upon the Confederate flag as well as anyone who proudly displays it.
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Greetings to any first time visitors. Be sure to check out my other articles, too. Best place to start is over there on the right under "My Favorite Posts". Thats the best of the best

Tales from the Helpdesk pt. 2




(Not me)




I spend my day light hours providing excellent technical support to Physician's offices, attorneys, construction companies and small companies that are frugal enough to outsource their Information Technology needs. More often than not, may day consists of password resets, virus & application issues, etc. But every now and then, I get a real genius on the line. Therefore I bring to you:



Tales from the Helpdesk



HAB: Thank you for calling _______ Support. This HAB



Caller: Hi, HAB.



HAB: How can I help you.



Caller: I moved my compooter to another desk and now I cant get my emails



HAB: Hmmm...Can you get out to the internet.



Caller: I dont know



HAB: Well lets try that first. Open up a web page and go to ****Our remote support site****



Caller: It says the page cannot be displayed.



HAB: Ok. It sounds like you may not be connected to the network.



Caller: Well I just moved my pc to a new desk. I THOUGHT i hooked all dem wires back up.



HAB: Well, let make sure everything is connected



CALLER CRAWLS UNDER DESK



Caller: I found a cable that looks like a big ol phone plug. Should that be connected?



HAB: Yes. That's what your pc uses to communicate



CALLER PLUGS IN THE NEWLY DISCOVERED UNPLUGGED CABLE



Caller: Ok. I plugged it in.....HEY!!!...My emails are coming in. YOU DA MAN, HAB!!!



HAB: *sighs* Thank you for calling














For the first installment, click here













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Greetings to any first time visitors. Be sure to check out my other articles, too. Best place to start is over there on the right under "My Favorite Posts". Thats the best of the best

Boy Marries Dog



BHUBANESWAR, India (Reuters) - An infant boy was married off to his neighbors' dog in eastern India by villagers, who said it will stop the groom from being killed by wild animals, officials and witnesses said on Wednesday.
Around 150 tribespeople performed the ritual recently in a hamlet in the state of Orissa's Jajpur district after the boy, who is under two years old, grew a tooth on his upper gum


*********************

Maybe he should have married an Orthodontist

Those silly Indians

*********************

.....the boy will still be able to marry a human bride in the future without filing for divorce.


*********************
A HUMAN bride!??!!?

No CATS?? No COWS??

And what about the dog? What does she do? Is she just supposed to forget about the relationship. The protective care that she provided to that child is just thrown out the window now????

Sheesh

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Greetings to any first time visitors. Be sure to check out my other articles, too. Best place to start is over there on the right under "My Favorite Posts". Thats the best of the best