Inauguration 2009 - "Full of Hot Air" Style

This should have been posted Wednesday, but my fingers were still frozen. Here it is:

The minute CNN announced Obama was nominated, I KNEW I had to be in DC for the swearing in. The week after, i found a bus trip for about $85. I was suspicious, but I went ahead and secured my spot in history.

Fast forward 2 months......

We get to our pre-designated meeting spot at midnight, Jan 20th. Right as we pull up, it begins to snow. Unlike last year's annual NC snowfall, this one brings real accumulation. 6 whole inches (That's what she said!!!).

Anyways.

There are 3 buses going to DC, and unbeknown until we board, the local NBC affiliate was tagging along. So of course, I get my happy ass interviewed. I just cant say no to the camera!

After a prayer for safe passage, we actually leave ON TIME.

1am

We pull out of the Walmart parking lot (Raleigh, NC) just as the snow picks up

530am

I wake up and find out we have pulled over for our SECOND restroom break. We are just outside our Richmond VA.

5 hours to drive about 200mi...WTF?!?!?

This bus driver was in no hurry to get there.

I use this time to "layer up". An extra pair of pants, shirts, and socks.

6am

We arrive in DC. Due to traffic issues, only charter buses are allowed access to the HOV lanes, so we bypass a lot of 'outside DC' traffic.

7am

Our driver tells us that he will be unable to drop us off at our original location. We get dumped somewhere (no clue where). We get out and just follow the crowd.

We end up on National Mall. Halfway between the Washington Monument and the Capital.

*Looks like an infestation, doesnt it??*

There must have been over a million folks there already.

And boy was it cold.

Mrs. Balogger and I walked around for a minute trying to find the best view.

One strange thing did happen while we were waiting.

This guy, standing amongst the rest of us, had a little book in his hand. He was doing some sort of bobbing motion with his body. Kinda like he bowing to a bunch of Japanese folks real fast. Now that was strange, but its not what brought him to my attention. What bothered me most was what was sitting on top of his head. It literally looked like a tie-dyed yamaka.

As if that wasnt enough, he had, what looked like several black Legos stacked on his forehead, all secured by some sort of thin black belt that wrapped around his head and then wrapped several times around his arm.

AND HE WAS CHANTING!!!

The first thought in my mind was...suicide bomber.

F**K being politically correct.

I spent over a year in Baghdad, where car bombings and suicide bombings went with my morning coffee.

Mrs. Balogger and I eased away from him.

I peeked back a few minutes later and he was behaving normally, still sporting the the Lego stack and taped-up arms.

If anyone knows what kind of religion that is, please hit me up the comments.

STRRRRRANGE

Fast forward 2 bitterly cold hours

I hate ignorant people.

For those of you that watched the coverage, you probably noticed the crowd waving American flags. This lady in front of us had 3 of them and was holding them up in the air, for no particular reason.

Because we were not fortunate enough to get close, we had to watch everything on the jumbo tron. Well, Flag Lady was blocking the view of several folks who, in her words, "should have come earlier, if they couldnt see".

Beotch!!!

That lady was insulted left and right. Someone even threw a glove at her. They must have really been pissed off with her. Fortunately for her, she was not obstructing our view. I tend to 'over react' in situations like that.

As we were standing there, one of the volunteers started asking us to move back.

Back to where?!?!?!

Come to find out, she was trying to make a path for someone in a wheelchair to leave. So we complied.

10min later, on the jumbotron we see Dick Cheney being pushed around in a wheelchair.

Someone hollered, "Is that who we had to move for"

ROFLMAO!!!

So anyway, we watch the ceremony (with the delayed audio). It was truly awesome. You could tell the crowd was not really for George Bush. When they showed him to his seat, the sea of folks erupted into "Boooo"'s

He must have felt like shit. I would have.

I got pissed when swearing in took place. Chief Justice Robert flubbed the oath.

What the f*** was on his mind.

He had ONE JOB to do.

"Senator, repeat after me: I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Given 20min, my daughter could have done it.

*He has since retaken it. And I dont blame him. Can you imagine the lawsuits arising from folks claiming that this and that isnt legal since he wasnt properly sworn in. I learned that even before the oath was given, he was POTUS at noon. So save the lawsuits for Judge Judy*

The speech was ok. Nothing real special about it. I cant say i was really paying attention. I was too proud, too far away, and too cold to focus.

After the ceremony, we went to the Air & Space Museum to warm up. That place looked like a refugee camp. People were laid out everywhere. Some sleep, some there (like us) just to get out of the cold.

And some were there to breast feed their damn baby!!!

Thats right.

I saw a mother nursing her young...in a museum...for all the world to see.

We still had a few hours before having to meet the bus. I bought us a couple of tickets to an IMAX movie playing in the theater. It wasnt any Hollywood blockbuster, it was this. I wish I could tell you all about what I saw, but 3min after they turned the lights off...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I was out like a light.

We wondered around the museum for another hour. Around 4:30 we stepped back out into the cold. We heard a lot of screaming and look up on the jumbotron and saw the parade.

I wish we could have seen it live, but I was too tired to even think about going to it.

I was ready to go home.

Thankfully, before I got off the bus, I was able to obtain the bus driver's cell #. I called him just to make sure the bus was in the same location we were told it would be in.

It wasnt.

He said they were parked on K and 1st Street. Those of you from DC probably are saying, "Oh Yeah". Well if you arent from DC, you have no clue where that is.

We were on 7th street coming from the mall. The first street that we crossed over was D street.

Hmmm

D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K

8 blocks south, then turn left and go 6blocks, right?

Wrong.

We went D, E, F, G, H, I.....dead end.

WTF?!?!?!

Where is the rest of 7th St. It stopped at I.

Luckily a Metro bus pulled up and I told the driver where i was trying to get to. He told us to hop on and he would take us there.

10min later we get dropped off.

If I would have had to walk that distance, I think I would have said f**k it and just called DC home. It was cold.

We get back on the bus and then had wait an hour for the rest of the folks to wander around before they found their way back also.

The icing on the cake (despite the weather, it was good day) occurred when the trip coordinator got on the bus. she was raffling off a trip to Vegas. 6days/5night at the Venetian. Air Fare included.

Mrs. Balogger and I stared at our tickets.

And they were the winning tickets!!!!

Thats right. We are going to Vegas in August. And it couldnt have come at a better time.

Thanks, Mr. President

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